Terribly Awful

 

Do you love bad movies? So do we!

Are there really bad movies that are hard to love? Yes there is!

Are there movies that are terribly awful? Oh hell yeah!

Between the two of us we have watched THOUSANDS of movies. Our knowledge of cinema is encyclopedic! They love bad movies (which is a sign of high intelligence), but there are movies that should never be watched. Unfortunately, we have to watch these crappy flicks to know for certain if they are truly abominable.

That is what Terribly Awful is all about!

Series 2

S2-E1: Prision A Go-Go

"...and now for a change in format!"

For this episode, we look at our first horrible movie, the mind-numbing and insulting "women in prision" film "Prison A Go-Go".  You would think the only direction to go would be up....you're wrong!

S2-E2: Future-Kill

"...the poster is the best part of the movie"

Just because you get an internationally renound artist to design your cover won't make your movie any less sucky.  Part Animal House, part Judgement Night, all bad, you won't be saying "Yea Future Kill" when it's over.

S2-E3: Revenge Quest

"Yeah man, don't put my name on here"

Revenge Quest (aka Amtrak From Mars) is a movie so bad, the sound editor "Barry" would not even put his last name on this turd.  Not even the screaming of what's her name could save this one.

S2-E4: Dracula 3000

"....what kind of ending is that?!"

Perhaps the biggest budget of all the films we watched this season, more money doesn't mean better quality.  Once again, not even the buff body of Casper Van Dien can save this by the numbers vampire movie.

S2-E5: Mutant Hunt

"I will fight you with the power of tighty whities!"

A movie that doesn't actually feature any mutants or hunting! Evil cyborgs that lust for death go on a rampage by their evil leader Z! It is up to Tighty Whitey, Porn Stash, Bad Dancer, and Bored Girl to stop the lunacy! Watch as we struggle through the atrocity that is Mutant Hunt!

S2-E6: Death Run To Istanbul

"I don't believe any of this"

Is this the worst movie ever made?  At this point, it was.  Shot on dad's video camera, this "movie" is nothing but a bunch of pointless fight scenes strung together with characters who are as stupid as they are unimportant.  Besides, how the hell do you get to Turkey by boat....from California?

S2-E7: They Must Eat

"The creatures are the true heroes of the movie"

Behold! A movie about a weird, possibly necrophiliac, lunatic, that murders people to feed the creatures that live in the basement of his creepy Uncle's house! They Must Eat!

S2-E8: The Vulture's Eye

"Did he just pee on her?"

The Illuminati produced this page for page bastardization of the classic horror novel by Bram Stoker.  Filmed in Virginia, this rip-off does add some spice: possible golden showers, old people sex, accidential ejaculation, and the doctor asking "is there is a blunt in the house?"

S2-E9: Abomination: The Evilmaker 2

"I can see her naughty bits!"

Bad acting? Check. Horrible looking picture quality? Check. Shoddy sound? Check. Boring and incomprehensible plot? Check. A movie so bad it actually degraded the quality of the episode! Witness the "grueling horror" of Abomination: The Evilmaker 2!

S2-EX: Season Two Finale

"Movie making can not be any worse than this!"

For the final episode of season 2, we subject actor and director Charles Dawson to a movie that crams in so much socially abhorent content, no wonder Uwe Boll played Hitler in this movie.

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Series 1

S1-E1: Ax'Em

"Where to even begin?"

The episode that started it all, Episode 1, Ax'Em, a movie so bad that it's amazing anyone watched it.  The name Terribly Awful was never more apt than with this first movie!

S1-E7: Horror House on Highway 5

"We don't need no script!"

The episode that helped shaped series 2 of "Terribly Awful", Horror House on Highway 5.  A title that almost as hideous as the acting, writing, sound, camera work, and music.  The only positive is the addition of future co-host, film critic Matt Anderson.

S1-E10: Riki Oh-The story of Ricky

"This is fucking hillarious!"

A martial arts movie with barely anyone who can perform martial arts, but more gore than "Robocop" is the perfect sumation for The Story of Ricky...or is it Riki...or is it who cares?  The second episode featuring critic Matt Anderson, this is the shape of things to come!